Breathing Through
It’s been so long that I don’t even know where to begin. So much life has passed. So many different iterations of myself have existed since January 2020. I can’t even describe the space I exist in at this very moment… and that’s why I decided to write today.
I don’t know where I fit anymore. I don’t know what my heart wants to say. I don’t know what she needs, what she desires. I just feel this deep longing… lingering in my every being, day in and day out. Words that are constantly on the edge of my tongue, but nothing comes out. Emotions that I feel, that aren’t fully formed to express, to identify, to truly know whether I need to breathe them in, or exhale them out. This space I’m in is so strange, yet so familiar. Like I’ve known it my entire life. But I feel like a complete stranger in my own skin…
All I’ve been able to do is breathe. Breathe and hope that the next breath I take might get me more acquainted, more settled in, more centered. More…. me. As if I even know who that is anymore (insert gentle laugh here).
This journey I’m on… whatever that may be, feels like it’s starting up again. Winding up slowly, softly, and with its hand out as if it’s been waiting for me to catch up. Letting me know it’s always been there, and always will be.
So, my hope is that I can find it within myself again to extend my hand, unpause myself, and reconnect with what’s been put in my heart to explore. But, right now, all I can do is breathe.
Dreams & Valleys 